A short film - open for feedback :)

[oferk]

Hi everyone,
Me and my girlfriend just finished a short film. This is our third year project, and we worked on it about 4 months from first concepts to finish. We animated and colored everything in tvpaint, the backgrounds are scanned gouache drawings.
I hope Im posting it in the right sub-forum.


We are very open to any feedback if you have any,
Thanks a lot.

[Elodie]

I moved the topic because it was not well placed.

Nice movie by the way

[idragosani]

It's an interesting vision, to say the least! Are you planning on fleshing this out at some point in the future? I'd like to know more about this world.

[oferk]

Thanks! We really hope to develop it further. We originally wrote much more then we could do, and drew some concept art for other parts and mechanisms of this world. We are now beginning work on a completely different kind of movie, so maybe after that one

[Paul Fierlinger]

For a student film you've got a lot of things right; the dynamics in contrasts between close ups and wide shots, the sense of space and hight, the acting of the tired walk cycles broken just in time to not become too mechanical with a stumble of the characters; it all comes nicely together as a successful exercise.

But one thing sticks out for me that bothers me each time I've watched this, which is the flatness of the characters in extreme close ups and the way they look and feel in wider shots. The CU are hard and lifeless, while in wider shots the characters fit with the backgrounds, even though they are likely colored with a bucket fill. In the future I suggest that in the extreme close ups you paint such characters with more detail, even showing brush strokes and the same softness you use elsewhere.

By the way, what is the significance of the name paul in the title?

[oferk]

Hi, Thanks a lot everyone. I'm sorry for the delayed response.
Hi Paul, thank you for your comments. We completely understand what you're saying about the closeups. We had only three days for coloring the whole animation, but we experimented a bit with painting using some brushes.
I hope that on our next project we will invest more time in this, this is the plan anyway. Thanks again, we really appreciate it

[oferk]

Oh, and the name isn't something specific. It just came to my partner's mind and she scribbled it as a title, and since then we named our characters Paul

[schwarzgrau]

I really like your style, especially the rough lines. And great timing, as Paul already said, but to repeat some more Paul already said: the close-ups really need a bit more detail.
However, I really like the whole vibe and your story.